A Lot Has Been Happening

I did not realize how much time had elapsed since I last blogged. So much has taken place, not the least of which is that my significant other has gotten a liver transplant! (August 29th!) Up until that date there were only tales of woe to record as he became more and more ill, stepping ever and ever closer to death. It felt as though we were spend what we had of life saying, "Goodbye," while at the same time trying to maintain the hope he might yet manage to survive. Thank God he has survived! Each day is another step away from the imminent end we thought was coming and a step toward a new beginning for both of us.

Someone asked me, during one of the worst of the moments of his illness, if I was praying for someone to die so he could get his liver transplant because by that point in time he was too sick for the partial transplant provided by a living donor option. I immediately was able to tell the person inquiring that, no, I was not praying for someone to die but, recognizing that we all do die eventually, I was praying that, of the people who were likely to pass away in our area within the needed period of time, that one of them would be an organ donor and compatible with my loved one so he could have his transplant. God answered those prayers and I feel as if I have my miracle in life - the one that lets you know, deep in the very heart and soul of yourself, that God is indeed real and that He cares and hears our cries in times of greatest need.

So now we are on the road to recovery, although with more than eight months of practice headed in the other direction there is still some emotional shifting going on. Worries that were once so prevalant, though still clinging to some extent, are fading rapidly, such as the moments I tended to wake in the night needing to call to check on him whenever he was in the hospital, too ill to be here at home. The fear that clawed at my heart is rapidly becoming distant in memory, although there are new anxieties waiting in line to take the place of the old ones but, somehow, they do not feel quite as threatening as the prior worries and fears. Despite the difficulties that lie ahead due to possible rejection issues, medication schedules, immunosuppressant precautions(?), and desperately needing to get the house in order for his eventual return home, a great weight has gone from my heart and mind. Life is now the order of the day. Rather than preparing for death all our efforts now are going into preparing to live! Definitely a better place to be!

Eventually, the Organ Bank will be contacting us about getting in touch with the donor's family. At least this is what we have been told. I would like to say here that my immediate reaction, upon learning of the gift we had received and that my sweetie-pie had made it through the surgery and was doing well, was extreme gratitude for the kindness and sacrifice such a gift entails and a strong desire to express my sympathies to a family who had so very recently suffered the loss of someone very dear to them in order that such a gift was even possible for my loved one to receive. So my joy was tempered with a shared grief with the family of the person whose death had enabled the continuation of life for my life companion and best friend. Thank you for that gift. We may be only two middle-aged, old farts; fat and dotty about our pussycats, but he means the world to me and losing him would have been more devastating than anyone else could possibly realize. I would never have wished such an event on your lives, but I am very grateful for the compassion and generosity of spirit that it took for the decision to be made to donate organs at such a time.

There you have our past two months in a nutshell.

Here's hoping all goes well for all of you in your lives, and that you are at least as blessed as we have been, but hopefully in more pleasant and less trying ways.

Love,
Izzlebug