Whew!

Made it, once again. My surgery on June 9th went very well and my recovery has been far less eventful and far less painful than my prior two surgeries. I have also been getting back in touch with people I did not have the energy to keep up with during the first phases of my cancer journey, so I have been doing most of my writing there instead of here.

This entry is titled "Whew!" for a variety of reasons (which will become evident as it unfolds) the least of which is that I am relieved to find that it is still possible to have an orgasm even with some of the equipment missing. It is different to some extent; still good, just different. I remember asking a friend who had a hysterectomy several years ago about this issue and she assured me it was, indeed, possible, but I needed to ascertain the fact for myself. There does not seem to be any problem that way and further recovery should make things even more possible, so no worries there. This is recorded publically in the interests of other females who might have similar concerns regarding their own pending surgeries. I hope it helps.

Another reason for the chosen title of today's blog is that it is always a relief to just wake up after having had surgery! I find that as I age I feel more and more vulnerable where medical issues are concerned, especially the issue of surgery. I am grateful to live where the medical staff and facilities are as good as they are. I feel very fortunate to have such good care available to me and to my loved ones and friends as well. It is a tremendous comfort and one not discussed often enough. I really wonder how many of us truly appreciate the level of medical care we have access to in this nation? I wish I knew how to say "thank you" more eloquently.

I am still hoping to have surgery to restore my breasts, and remain "flat" in the interim, but it will be at least until around the end of November or some time in December before that can be pursued due to the infection and the surgery to remove the tissue expanders, etc. Perhaps it will be a "Merry Christmas to me" gift if I am able to have the necessary surgery by then. I only hope there will be no further troubles of the sort already experienced and, in the meantime, have to admit to feeling somewhat deformed, too altered to feel entirely normal with myself yet not disfigured enough to feel quite as sorry for myself as I suppose others might under similar circumstances. At least (I hope, I hope, I hope!) I am cancer-free for the time being, and have only the possiblity of chemo still pending to cause a dark spot in an otherwise brighter future. I'll find out more about that this coming Monday when I see the medical oncologist again.

We went out and had supper with friends this evening and may do something tomorrow as well. This weekend I am hoping to have lunch with Dad and my step-mother in order to deliver a Father's Day card and an anniversary card since they will be going away for the week to celebrate their wedding anniversary together. As much as I love my step-mom, it still is a lonely feeling now and then to know that my own mother, and now a younger sister, are both gone. The older I get the emptier the world feels, although it is so full one wonders how it can feel empty at all!

I hope all who wander this way are having happier times and experiences. May your lives be more blessed in every way than mine has been, and it has been very blessed in more ways than I can ennumerate here.

Love,
Izzlebug