Back To Earth

It has been ages since I have managed to get back to people who have been trying to get in touch to see how I've been doing over the past few weeks. Fortunately, there are other lines of communication open so they knew I was still alive, but there is something very satisfying in hearing directly from someone rather than merely about them, so yesterday I finally managed to email a friend who has been trying to call for quite awhile during this time of my not feeling like dealing with much more than I absolutely had to and then, this evening, I also called my brother back, who I had not realized was really very concerned about me and not hearing back from me all this time.

Mike sounded really tired. I hope I am able to see him sometime soon. It has been several weeks now that I have been able only to speak with him on the phone instead of seeing him to take him out to lunch and chat. I hope his health has not been in some sort of a decline while I have been trying to get through all of this surgery and other stuff. My niece's Dad lost his Mom the other day and, although she did not know her "other" grandmother very well, I am sure the loss will register over time. It seems our extended family, not just our immediate one, cannot make it through life with only one crisis in tow at a time. My heart's prayers, right now, are that Mike's health is not at the point where we may have to say another much too early "good-bye" yet again. We are all too well acquainted with grief.

After another day of resting the change in medication seems to have had the needed/hoped for effect in that the fevers and chills cycle that seemed to be developing has ceased and I am feeling much, much better. It's such a relief to realize it was "only" the medication rather than an infection the medication was not addressing! Huge relief on that front, now on to the rest - next surgery, June 9th (at present).

To Mike

You had the most beautiful brown eyes
Bigger than eternity in your small, handsome face
The curiosity and wonder
Brightening the color and expression
As your great mind grasped hold of so much more
Than your older sister's far simpler brain could manage
You saw the Universe through different eyes
Understood God in different ways
And knew I was worth the time to encourage
To read some of your favorite books
Although you seemed determined to always
Keep me in a lower place
At least that was how it seemed to me
It seems the roles are somewhat reversed these days
I would welcome a return
If I knew you could be whole again
My younger brother with the mind of wonder and fury
And your intelligence that always left me
Feeling an awe I cannot, even now, fully express.