Just Like Home - Not!

The day of my Aunt's funeral service, my sweetie pie and I ended up going in to the emergency room, sent there by his general practioner's PA. It is probably just as well that I was unable to make it to the service, etc. as I have been really weepy and blue lately and would have been even more miserable had I gone to her funeral service (her burial will be later this Spring and I am hoping to make it to that, at least). And, to top it all off, we still are not sure just what is going on with my significant other's medical condition!!! Is "bummer" really a word?

There has also been some more "Oh, goodie!" news regarding my health, although nothing quite so upsetting as that of my partner in crime. The "doctors" (the names and specialties vary and change accordingly) have determined that I have a very, very little, tiny bit of scoliosis in my spine. The physician I spoke to did not believe it has been the cause of any of my back pain issues and it likely does not need any type of treatment at all, which is just fine with me, but it does explain why I have, now and then, felt as though I was listing to the left a little - because I was! The second "new" discovery is that I may have (please note the mention of possibility rather than the statement of fact here), maybe, fibromyalgia. Blahhh! It might explain a lot of my pain, but it does not seem to me that I have the same issues you hear about in the ads for Lyrica, and such, so I am feeling somewhat sceptical, but will try to keep an open mind and see how things play out.

It would be wonderful to have something really, really positive happen once in awhile: "Congratulations! You just won the lottery!; etc. (I'm too tired to come up with much of anything else right now.) At least Spring has arrived despite the direction my life always seems to be heading - an almost constant downward spiral trailing off into an infinite wasteland of woe - a bit prosey, perhaps, but it felt good to type it all out and just be a little ridiculous for the moment.

I missed my second group meeting (the depression work group) because it was the same day as the emergency room visit and my Aunt's funeral service. I did, however, make it to the third meeting and it really does seem that I will be learning some very valuable things about how to cope with depression and depressive thinking patterns. Hopefully I will not miss any further meetings as there are only eight in total. Some of the other members of the group seemed a little perkier this time around, so between the group and Spring happening,we should all be a lot better by the end of the sessions.

I just heard the door open. My sweetie pie took out this enormous amount of garbage from my having cleared stuff out of the refrigerator and freezer that had accumulated over a long time (I would make a guess but it would likely gross everyone out)and he has just come back in to growl at me about how much the trash bin weighed (I don't blame him, it really weighed a lot!). Maybe, if we're really fortunate, we'll get a bear tonight, fishing stuff out of the trash can! Probably not, and I would have to call Animal Control if we did because there are too many pets and children in our area, but it would certainly be something more interesting to write about than my usual stuff!

The weather was beautiful today. Not in your "blazing glory of sunlight" kind of way, but in the softness in the air that heralds the changing of the winter into the gentler seasons of growth and renewal. There is life in each breath taken on such a day, and often peace to be found in taking a moment here and there to just "be." It is difficult to put into words, at least adequate words. It is the effort of passing a feeling to another person hand to hand, placing it gently into the palm of another and saying from the heart, "Here. This is the peace of this day for you. I want to share it." Please know that is what is very much contained in my ramblings here.

Blessings,
Izzlebug