Aging: Its Not Just For People Anymore

Along with the two of us, our cats have been going through their aging processes as well. One of the male cats, Tiger, is just beginning to develop problems that will eventually lead to kidney failure but he is not quite "there" yet. Unlike our cat, Pudge, who died this past February (one week to the day before we got the news Patty had leukemia) of kidney failure, we think the vet caught Tig's in time to at least fight it off more successfully and for a longer period of time that we could with poor Pudge-cat. This being said, we gave Tig his first subcutaneous fluid injection last night and it really seemed to perk him up, so much so in fact, he kept Ross awake until about 3:30AM and enjoyed doing it. This is heartening and scary at the same time because Ross and I both have various difficulties sleeping and when you multiply that by one twerpy pussycat in the middle of the night...
We would rather have a healthy cat than worry about whether we are going to lose sleep because said cat is being too playful or not, so we rejoice and figure we can always trade off cat-sitting while the other one gets a couple of hours under their belts. We are also going to give Tiger his fluids earlier and hope he lets off steam before we head for bed.
Other than the disturbances caused by Tiger having an indecent amount of fun keeping Ross awake, the day has been a relatively quiet one. I think one of the rationales held in the back of my mind for starting this blog was to try to keep up the entries on a regular enough basis so I can actually, objectively determine that we are not constantly under assault as a family - a feeling that has grown to unacceptable proportions as we have all had to deal with what seems like an inordinate amount of family and health crises and loss over the past several years. It will also help me focus more on positive things that happen so I can avoid depressing everyone who reads my blog. Positive feelings and thoughts sometimes seem so far away it almost hurts to have them take place at all. I guess its that the muscles used for being happy tend to atrophy if you cannot find anything to smile or laugh about after awhile.
It is now after midnight ET, and the air coming through the windows is soft and cool. The incessant, high-pitched tones of the crickets and other insect life in our yard blends with the high pitches produced by table fan and computer and meld into one sound that hovers and hums in the background underneath every other sound. A small fan blows this air directly onto my skin making it cool to the touch of fingers that now feel quite warm and I can hear Ross getting ready for bed in another part of the house. The light in this room is dimmed and the sounds swell from the background and envelop two very tired people as they wend their way to bed and the rest they could not claim last night. There is a tangible peace in the air surrounding us and I pray that nothing will shatter that peace as we lapse into sleep and prepare for the day tomorrow.

Some more poetry about the subjects discussed:

Pudge

My sweet, now scrawny cat,
Frail tail, too tired to
Leap into another lap.
Purr and bones
Snuggled in my arms.
Too short a life for
So much love
Embodied in a cat
Named "Pudge."
Beautiful face and loving eyes,
A special being
By love made wise.
You knew, but did not
Want to depart,
Even while in pain you were
Content to snuggle
In my Heart.
Sweet soul of the eternal cat
A universe of love on
Four legs, with a tail.
Soft, warm fur and feline grace;
I will forever feel
Brushing on my face
Loving pats and taps.
I hear a cat-song bridging eternity;
Deep in my heart
I will always hear
Your loving call and, with a hopeful heart,
Know that what is now rendered seperate
Will not spend eternity apart.

To Mom

So simple
To pick up the phone
And call.
Long distance is no problem
Assuming you will hear me at all.
Five years ago at your bedside
That all too final "Good-bye."
The love of a lifetime
Spilled in tears and
An eloquence of broken-hearted
Kisses on a chilling brow;
Mom, where are you now?
Is there a number you can send me?
Maybe an address, so I can
Write a few lines.
Mankind will have reached
Its ultimate achievement
When we can, finally, call back
Through time.
Before I hang up an "I love you
And miss you more than you will ever know."
My mother, my heart,
A lifetime,
Cradled in a daughter's heart
And not so distant now.

To Patty, Who Needs To Know How Her Sister Feels

Like a thief in the night
Entering unbidden, unwelcome, unwanted,
Under inky-wisp clouds creeping across a frozen, secret
moon.
Keeping little bits and pieces of our time,
Each precious moment gone, a shattered diamond; sand -
Making a desert where a garden needs to grow.
I saw a barren waste, glittering and sterile,
After my sister called.

(untitled)

Desperate, my Tuxie,
To see you breathe,
I tried, my sweet, to
Share my breath with you.
Could you, my sweet, sweet angel kitty,
Feel my kiss of love?
Of desperate love?

Paws

They cannot know the sweetness
That was my Pawsie's heart.
That special first mouse for Mom-cat
Delivered lovingly with melifluous cat-song
And happy trills swelling from an endless supply of love.
They cannot know the sweet, soft
Taps and pats I received from Pawsie's gentle touch,
So much like loving hands and words,
Expressing so much love.
Sweet looks of love, such gentle love,
Even to the last.
So great a thing as love
Was trapped inside my Pawsie-Cat.
Her cheerful chirrups when I cried that
I will never hear again,
At least not in this present world
Upon this present plain.
Too weak to purr
She used her gaze to tell me, yet again,
How loved I was by heart, sweet heart,
That beats no more, is still,
Yet my sweet kitty's love goes on
And carries my own aching heart
Up Life's bitter hill.
My sweet, sweet cat's
Pure love for me
Heals the loss and eases pain
Though I can never give her love
To let her know I know
Again.

Death Sprint

It came too fast, too fast,
The death that took my Pawsie Cat.
Too quick, too quick
For loving hearts, and hands, and paws.
Loving looks and sweet caresses
Were not allowed the day,
It came on too fast, too fast,
That stream of quickening death,
That bore my sweet friend away.
They cried, "Too slow, too slow!"
They hurried with the plan
And stole the briefest,
Merest time from
Our eternity.
Last looks of love were there,
And could have been for hours,
But they cried, "Too slow, too slow!"
And robbed us of our
Last sweet looks,
Our last sweet time
Of gentle, sure
Reminders
Of the love our hearts
Embraced,
And stilled my sweet kitty's face
And heart and rushed us into
Death's cold and still embrace.