With the Approaching Chemo, It's Really Beginning to Hit Home

It seems that despite the bouts of tears, nerves, and fears I had prior to the three surgeries I've been through since April 16th, It's the chemo that has been bothering me the most. I know my case is so completely not what my poor sister went through so I cannot honestly say if or how much of my fear may be related to what I witnessed her go through, but whatever the case is, I am not looking forward to the next few months and four cycles of chemotherapy that are scheduled for me. I also had a port-a-cath (?) put in yesterday (Thursday) and it itches, although the pain is subsiding fairly quickly. I now have this thing under the skin of my left chest that runs into my jugular vein, which is not a lot of fun to contemplate, but at least it will save my poor old hands and arms from any more needle sticks since they can use the port to not only deliver my chemo but also draw blood and do any injections for CT scans, etc. should they be necessary for whatever reason. I am also grateful that I am, essentially, cancer free as I go into these treatments in that the tumor was removed with all clear margins and there was no evidence of cancer in any of the lymph nodes removed. There was also no cancer present in either of my ovaries, fallopian tubes, or uterus when they were removed either except the doctor said it looked like my uterus was gearing up to go critical (my phrasing) as it was sporting some kind of pre-cancerous something or the other when the surgery occurred. Good riddance to all cancerous and pre-cancerous cells as far as I am concerned. Now the chemo to make as absolutely certain as is humanly possible, but I really am not looking forward to the next few months!

That is my update in one very large nutshell. News on other fronts ranges from my grandmother being in the hospital, to a family picnic which may be going down in flames (yet to be determined), to my brother not doing so well, to whatever. I am not in the best of moods at the moment, as the previous paragraph may have indicated.

Tomorrow I am hoping to spend some time with a good friend who just got back from vacationing in Montana and Sunday, if it is not being canceled, my significant other and I may be heading for that family picnic I mentioned earlier, although that also depends on how well I am feeling and if I can manage a long car trip up and back. My "Pookie Bear" (yes, it's a joke!) would do just about anything to get out of driving me to my grandmother's for the event but I am not quite up to driving that distance by myself yet, and may not be for quite some time to come. Sigh, sigh, sigh!

So. that is the latest in my personal saga of cancer and personal woes. I sincerely hope all of your lives are currently brighter and more cheerful, full of hope and promise, than mine seems to be at the moment, although I feel certain this is merely the storm before the clear skies and sunshine.

Blessings on all and happiness, also.

Love,
Izzlebug