A Poem - because the leukemia is back

Fear

A small fear has found a home;
My heart. It feeds upon my pain,
Knowing how uncertain fate
Has made our lives again.

I love you, so
It seems this fear
Can take advantage of my tears.
It tears and rends my broken heart,
And knows
Just when
To really make things hurt,
To make me cry;
We cannot see the future
Or where collective fate lies,
If we could, fear would have its death
Instead of living like some
Repulsive, cosseted, and pampered pet.

How can so small and mean
A thing play such a large roll
In all our lives?
It lies.
It says it knows truth.
It claims to be
A messenger of life.
It is, instead, a harbinger of unknowns,
Sounding and feeling
Like Doomsayer
Instead of Hope.

It lives in me
And will not leave.
Until you’re well again,
My heart will harbor
This vicious petite
With its very sharp claws
And enormous teeth.
Although, it is so small,
If you look for it objectively
You often see
Nothing at all.
But it feels ten feet tall.